If you’ve landed on this page you’re likely considering your own intimate wedding or elopement. Congratulations! Being a Boston wedding photographer for the last 15 years—and also planning my own intimate wedding during the throes of the pandemic in 2020—I can offer you some real-world insight into planning your intimate wedding or elopement.
What Is An Intimate Wedding?
The first question I often get asked is what exactly is a micro wedding or an intimate wedding? Honestly, there are many differing opinions on what makes your event intimate versus micro. But in both cases, they are a little non-traditional. And for my purposes, intimate weddings and micro weddings are the same. Some people say that a micro wedding is a “traditional” wedding on a much smaller scale (say 20 or so guests) and an intimate wedding is a little more nontraditional (perhaps not including all the usual events and vendors). Really, these both feel the same to me. I explain a micro or intimate wedding as an event with less than 50 guests. Maybe it’s in your backyard, or your favorite restaurant, on a ferry boat, or even at a destination. An intimate or micro wedding offers you much more wiggle room for creativity and thinking outside the box.
How Is An Intimate Wedding Different Than An Elopement?
An elopement, on the other hand, is truly a tiny event that includes just the two of you. It’s most often the couple, an officiant, and a witness (sometimes that’s me!). An elopement can be done on the top of a mountain, on a beach, in city hall, or anywhere you heart desires. Since it can be as small as 4 people (you two plus me and an officiant) you really have endless options as to where you can tie the knot. But I have also seen an elopement at city hall that included family members and a lunch afterward. Although traditionally an elopement was for only 2 people, I think the pandemic really allowed a lot of people to focus on the most important aspects of their marriage and not feel boxed in by any definition. So if your elopement looks a little more like a micro wedding or an intimate wedding then by all means, embrace your own definition of your wedding.
Where To Start On Planning My Intimate Wedding Or Elopement?
First off, decide what you want. When my husband and I decided to get married (yes we decided together) we knew we wanted to include our closest family and friends and our favorite restaurant. This made the venue for the dinner really easy, and the pandemic forced us to really cut down the guest list, as did the venue size. I knew I wanted to get married on a Thursday and not have traditional aspects of the day (no dancing or DJ, no cake cutting). We then decided to get married outside and settled on a family member’s private roofdeck overlooking the city of Boston. The details after that fell into place.
Guests or No Guests?
This is probably where you should start. Maybe you’ve decided on time of year you want to get married and now you need to consider if it will just be the two of you, or if you will be adding family members and friends. This is obviously a pretty big decision and determines whether you are having an elopement or an intimate wedding. You might waffle back and forth for a bit. Really listen to your heart, and listen to one another. The stress of the pandemic leading up to our wedding day made me think I should have done an elopement, but once the day came I knew our intimate wedding was the right decision and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Venue
Venues are the place you should probably start with next. Do you want to get married outside, indoors, city hall, your backyard? Once you settle on where you want to actually tie the knot (your ceremony location), it will be a lot easier to flesh out the next details. If you’ve decided to include guests, you probably want to host them for a luncheon, a cocktail party, or a dinner. Now is the time to decide on where to host the gathering of your guests. The great part about having a smaller number of guests is that you can easily secure a private room in a restaurant (or rent the whole thing out), put up a tent in your backyard, find an alluring patio in the city, contact a local museum, or anywhere your heart desires. The smaller number makes it more like hosting a small party and less like hosting a wedding.
Vibe
Now that you’ve decided on time of year, type of event, and the venues, you can really decide what the entire vibe of the day is. Relaxed, upscale, elegant, casual, rustic, modern, it’s entirely up to you! The time of year and venue will really help to solidify the feeling you want to create as well, and the details will help bring it all to life.
Officiant & License
Who is going to marry you? If you’re choosing to get married at city hall, you will be appointed a city clergy member who can marry you. You still need to get your marriage license 3 days before your wedding date. can fill out your marriage license and get married all on the same day. Easy peasy. But if you are choosing your own venue, then you might need to find your own officiant. In the state of Massachusetts (and many other states as well) you can secure a one-day marriage designation. So your aunt, cousin, or best friend can get the one day license and legally marry you. How cool is that?!? In the state of Massachusetts this one-day marriage designation can be applied for online and costs a mere $28.50 (with fees). Just be sure to give yourself enough time for this, as it takes a week or so to go through. You can also hire a justice of the peace to officiate your wedding. Each state has specific information for obtaining a marriage license and who can perform the ceremony, but it is worth looking into options for your intimate wedding or elopement. Especially if you want to make it more personal to the two of you.
Details & Decor
The great part about choosing an already standing venue (like a restaurant or museum) is that there is already some built-in decor for you. If you like the look of the space you can work from there and add in special little details…or none at all. If you are doing your own backyard tent or empty space then you still can create your perfect look with more traditional wedding elements & decor. Maybe you search etsy for your favorite special details or make your own (my friend created gorgeous 5×7 oil paintings for each of her guests because her count was low enough). Another time I had a couple create handmade ceramic tiles for every guest. The options are literally endless.
What Do I Need Photographed?
There is no right answer for this question. I will, however, give you some elements you might want photographed when planning your intimate wedding or elopement.
Getting Ready: You’ll need to decide if you want to have your photographer photographing the “getting ready” part of the day. I love this part from a storytelling perspective, but it certainly isn’t necessary. When we got married, my husband and I got ready together. My photographer came after my makeup was done but got all of our details (dress, flowers, rings, tie clip, vows, etc.) and photographed the two of us getting ready together. That was important to me, but you decide what is important to you.
First Look: If you are not getting ready together, do you still want to do a first look and get your photos done before the ceremony? This is usually my suggestion with an intimate wedding because you want to spend as much time with your guests as possible after the ceremony. The first look can be a really special moment to see each other for the first time (or the first time all dressed up).
Couples Portraits: The couples portraits are arguably the most important photos of the day. The ceremony is probably the most important, but the ones of the two of you are going to be the ones you hang on your walls for years to come…the ones you share most with those you love. I like to give at least an hour for couples portraits. We can walk around your favorite spots in the city, drive to a different location, go to a remote field that you love, explore an empty beach. Couple’s portraits for your elopement or intimate wedding are truly unique.
Ceremony: Elopement ceremonies and intimate wedding ceremonies are really special. Often my couples write their own vows, the speeches are more personal, and everything is done with a nod to the two people getting married. Although the ceremony is generally short (under 30 minutes) it will be the most special moment of your entire day.
Family Portraits: If you have family and friends with you on your wedding day, I know that they are likely the most important people to you. We should absolutely find some time to give you photos of all of you together. Depending on the size of your guest list, family and friends portraits should take about 30 minutes or less.
Reception & Details: You might be having a traditional reception or maybe you’re just doing a luncheon. If you rented out a space and put in extra details, you’ll want those to be photographed. I can stay and get everyone’s arrival to the space, or just get an overview of all the details. That is entirely up to you. If you are doing more traditional elements like dancing or cake cutting I can photograph those too.
Timeline
Now that you’ve considered what elements you want photographed, the next major consideration is going to be your timeline and how long you need your photographer for. My elopement packages start at 2 hours and go to 4 hours, and my micro wedding package is set at 4 hours. I’ve found that 4 hours is plenty of time for covering all the elements of your day, but depending on what you’d like photographed 2 hours can also be sufficient. I’d love to give you a “regular” timeline to go on, but because there are so many changeable elements in an elopement or intimate wedding it is really hard to give an example timeline.
I often receive questions on timeline from my couples—especially those who are doing an elopement or micro wedding. Being a Boston wedding photographer, our weather dictates much of what we can do as natural light is usually what everyone is focused on. And although I am definitely a champion for natural light, this shouldn’t be the only focus when creating your wedding timeline. You should be considering what you want from your day—is this just about the two of you and your photographer is your only witness? Are you having an intimate wedding at a restaurant? A backyard wedding with 50 of your closest friends and family members? What do you want captured from your day? Focus on what is most important to you.
The most important aspect for photography is going to be the sunset time. In the winter when the sun goes down close to 4pm, you’ll want to have the majority of your photos done beforehand. So you can do a 4pm ceremony, but any family photos and portraits of the two of you will want to be done before this time. If the sun sets later in the day you have more wiggle room, but you’ll still want it to be light out for the majority of your portraits.
Quick List For Planning Your Intimate Wedding or Elopement
- Decide on whether to have an elopement or a more intimate or micro wedding
- Choose your venue/location and vibe for the day
- Decide what you want or need photographed
- Consider your sunset time and overall timeline
Of course, at any time I’m also happy to help you plan out your timeline and help you finalize timing and customize it to your needs. Sometimes the parameters are different and we can work with your specific needs to make sure we get the best possible photos on your wedding day without you ever feeling stressed!
